I cannot finger what particularly leads into how girls become completely stuck on a fairy tale: an ideology that a charming young man will show up one day and change their world. “Arhhh..spin me around atop a chariot until I’m consumed in a banquet of flowery love. Life will be full and happy… and complete and we will live happily ever after.”
Oh Yes! This fairy tale dart didn’t miss me most especially. I have been so stuck on this fairy tale syndrome for a long time. This misguided fantasy saw me through most of my teens and youth. With my eyes closed in on this unrealistic idea of love, I found myself tending towards believing that the things I wanted were the same as the things I needed- The Perfect Guy.
“Oh, the Perfect guy”. He is wonderful, thoughtful and romantic to the core; says beautiful things while he picks up your bills without a flinch. He says beautiful things to you and keeps it coming with flowers. He is the textbook- taking you always to Marchenland. And your world is absolutely perfect.
But what we fairy-tale females fail to understand while infatuated with this Prince Charming ideology is that everything you want is barely anything you actually need. And that that other guy who seems like the villain; annoyingly worrying you about silly details of your regular life or hitting you when you screw up; is the sheep in wolf’s clothing.
For years, I sort out my prince charming. It was all I trusted would make my world spin and perfect- my love story worthwhile. And while I waited for that time to come, I fantasized about how our first meeting will play out. My favorite one was how we will bump accidentally into each other in a grocery store after which he will pick up my bills and drop me off home. I was pretty wound up prepping myself to plunge into chariots wait.
And then I found him. My prince charming was perfect. He led me into an adventure, I never imagined existed. I experienced life through a different spectrum while he flaunted me to all his friends and whoever cared to see. I felt special about myself with his unending romantic gestures and ballads- and my world spun. Everything was perfect and I, completely blinded by love, would see nothing else. Meanwhile, in this blindness, I failed to see that I was allowing myself to get lost.
Idealism prevailed over a reality of common or shared interests, of mutual growth beyond the superficial nuances. So, I missed seeing that all the passionate things that interested me barely mattered or concerned my prince charming. Or that the union had not any deeper worthwhile contribution to my life. Such that, even though I was getting what I wanted, I was not receiving any greater influences to foster growth or development. Such a story was to end badly and with a sad realization that prince charming never left an actual dent in your life. For the longer I hung around Prince Charming, the less depth was found. Soon enough, the blindfolds came off—just as of any bad breakup. Alas, Prince Charming once thought as perfect; was only just a finely wrapped up empty box. The lies, infidelities, and what more, you never knew were there, starts to surface. And if that’s not the case, evidence that you were never even compatible in the first place, clears it up. —“Not a single shared interest”.
To be continued…